Intro
Please note I am not claiming to be a great leader in this article. Rather, to merely highlight habits I’ve encountered that are best avoided if you want to be a kind, reliable and non-poisonous leader.
Whether you are a Teacher, Community Leader, Manager, company Founder or CEO – you should dodge this behaviour, so you don’t drive talented and valuable people away. We all love Michael Scott, but you do not want to be Season One Michael.
Leadership is learnt not inherited
People often see leadership as a magical talent that you’re born with. However, if you were to ask great leaders (who don’t have some of the traits listed below) they’d all tell you it’s something they’ve learnt and refined over time, from their mentors, heroes and experiences.
An insightful African proverb states, “a good leader was once a good follower.” Daniel LaRusso had Mr. Miyagi. Frodo had Gandalf. Simba had Mufasa. Marty had Doc Brown. Po had Master Shifu. OK, I think you get my point.
Many traits make a great leader, but some make a terrible one. We’ve all come across poor leadership whether it’s that one boss who is memorable for all the wrong reasons or a personal situation we’ve mishandled. The habits of a bad leader are easy to spot once you know what they are. Here are six overlapping traits to avoid:
1. Lacking empathy
You find it hard to care about things that don’t revolve around you. Empathy is one of the most crucial qualities of good leaders. It’s not something that can be taught on a course, instead, it’s something developed over time through experience and observation of others’ behaviour.
The ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes is vital when it comes down to understanding their needs and motivations – both at work and outside work. A lack of empathy leads to poor decision-making, which can hurt your business, community or project without you even realising it.
Being compassionate and adaptable to the needs and emotions of others is the muscle you need to lift the performance of those around you.
2. Smug and arrogant
You can’t admit when you’re wrong. It’s not just good leaders who make mistakes. It’s everyone. When someone points out an error you’ve made, don’t get defensive and try to explain it away by blaming anyone else involved or making excuses. Admit that you were wrong, take responsibility for your actions and learn from the experience so it doesn’t happen again.
There is no room for arrogance in the world of business (or in any other world). You may be a great entrepreneur who has built up a successful company but if you act like you’re better than everyone else, it will only create resentment among your employees and customers (don’t stink the room out with your attitude). Don’t treat people as if they’re beneath you just because they don’t know what you know or do what you do.
Arrogant leaders are often seen as being very confident in their abilities. However, this trait can also make others feel disrespected and even angry over time. Arrogant leaders often fail to recognise the value of others’ contributions and don’t know how to recognize their own flaws and mistakes.
3. Failure to listen and learn
You don’t listen to others’ opinions or ideas. You might think that only you can see the big picture, but that’s not true — if your employees or colleagues have valuable insights into how things could be done, listen up!
Letting people share their thoughts will help them feel more engaged with their jobs and more invested in a company overall – and they’ll remember you being someone they can speak to and confide in.
You’re always right about everything — even if you’re not! If your employees and team members start feeling like they have no control over their own work lives because you’re always telling them what to do and how to do it without any input from them whatsoever, they’ll start looking for jobs elsewhere — faster than you can say “King Kong ain’t got s*** on me!” à la Denzel. You don’t need to micromanage your employees, show them the respect and freedom to do their job so they can learn from successes and failures. Not being an accessible leader, you can prevent your colleagues from being open enough to share their best ideas, and invaluable feedback and speak their minds without fear of reprisal.
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both.
I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
Michael Scott
4. Overly secretive and private
Being honest is essential for any leader since it shows that you respect your team members enough not to lie about things that are going on in their lives or work environment. If you’re not honest about things happening within your company, you risk losing your team’s trust, which is a great way to drive them away.
Don’t be someone who plays politics and gossips with other colleagues either. Deal with facts and if you are unsure about something someone has done, ask them directly for clarification rather than assuming or deciding based solely on another’s words.
5. Emotionally detached
Don’t be a robot that you can’t see the work being done by the humans around you. People are a lot more than what you see of them in the typical work hours, they have; families, pets, bills, ambitions, problems and a whole goulash of aspects to their lives. Make an effort to learn about the people you are meant to serve, yes I said “serve” not order around. Understanding what drives your team and being emotionally intelligent enough to recognise when something is bothering them is something a good leader should always aim to have in their skillset.
This mentality is more prevalent in some industries than others, I have seen this a lot more in the Tech industry – unfortunately, this is one process you can’t automate. If you show sincerity and genuinely care about your employees, you will find them to be loyal and naturally put in more effort to reciprocate appreciation for you caring about something important to them.
Oh, and don’t be afraid to praise good work when you see it, showing some emotion isn’t a weakness, it shows those around you that you’re more like them and not some stiff-necked bird gliding in the sky waiting to pounce on some helpless prey.
“…but once I had brains, and a heart also; so, having tried them both, I should much rather have a heart.”
The Tin Man
6. Narcissism on steroids
One of the worst types of characteristics to have in a leadership role is to want everything to revolve around you and your sole opinion. The worst thing you can do is not be willing to rely and trust on your colleagues because you are so lost and preoccupied with your achievements and abilities. This skewed mentality can cloud your judgement and not let you see the importance of others because you are so engrossed in the belief of your importance.
Your team and company can survive without you, trust me. Don’t place yourself on such a pedestal that you feel that nothing could operate without you being part of it. Of course, you should be passionate and put your effort into any role that you take but remember you are not just your job title
“The weak are dominated by their ego, the wise dominate their ego, and the intelligent are in a constant struggle against their ego.””
Hamza Yusuf Hanson
Leadership and power are innately connected. Power trips often lead to lonely places. A true test of one’s character is whether you can have the same qualities in the presence or absence of power. It’s not easy being a leader whose compassionate, humble, honest and there to serve and support those around you, but it isn’t hard to try to be either.
If you want to be a purposeful leader who is a beneficial presence to your colleagues and community, know that some behaviours are detrimental to making you a resilient and strong leader on your way to achieving your purpose.
“The leader of a people is their servant.”
Prophet Muhammad
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1
Show empathy
2
Be humble
3
Listen and learn
4
Be honest
5
Be human
5
Have humility